If it's not keeping you up nights then whats the point?

For some reason this morning I downloaded all the Taking Back Sunday albums
and sat around being emo and reminiscing on old times.

I miss it
heaps
me and Amy were inseperable
we did whatever we wanted
we were different
and we loved it.

Listening to it made me think of one photo in particular.
It took me so long to find it, shuffling through my hundreds of old photos on my computer.

sunburnt little kitties

"great romances of the 20th century"

these were amazing days
and I'll never forgetting them.
ever.

So I've been heavily neglecting my blog and attempting to neglect the internet
all attempts have failed
although my recents ventures into hibernation have paid off by me acing some of my tafe assignments
got my first ever 98% which ended up being a 15/15 of my year mark which i was pretty damn happy with
I'm trying to get my life together
and get motivated on growing up
this motivation has proved more than hard to find
its lurking in a dark cave somewhere and my flashlight is all out of batteries
never never land is all around me but i know i need to pull my socks up soon enough

all in all I'm proud of myself this year
I'm not being the best i can be
but i'm doing ok
he's still in my life
which is proving to be an issue
i've cut all the other shit people out
so if you read this
and we don't actually talk anymore
it's because i have an issue with you
not because i'm busy
i make time for those important to me
i make time to let them know i care
i make time to treat them how they deserve
and i have spent time treating you how you deserve
which is zilch from me


fucking tafe gets me god damn excited about life
what a bright bright future i have ahead of me
and those who doubt me
you'll see

Some more stupid shit about me

I can't wear black and brown together
I can't wear ballet flats with jeans
I eat the carrot first out of salads
I crave apple juice when i'm hung over
I drink lemonade and bitters way too much at work
I never kiss and tell
You would never expect my room to look like what it does
I own way too much stuff
Every morning my dog billy and my kitty sleep in with me
Babys crying is probably the most painful noise in the world
People tend to think I'm really dumb, I'm actually not
When I was in grade 5 I was sent to a special learning school because
I was too smart for my own good
I'm a sucker for punk and acoustic covers of old songs
I think my dad is probably the coolest guy ever
And my mum is probably the most genuine lady i have ever met
I crack really explicit and r rated jokes
Annie and the secret garden are two of my favourite movies ever
People don't really ever get me
I'm not really scared of anything or anyone

My old blog sucked because all I did was rant about how hurt I was over my ex and pretty much just pretended I was ok when I really wasn't. I was so down and out I said anything to try and convince myself I was doing alright and to be honest... I sucked at it. I used to listen to the same songs over and over again. And I watched Juno every night just so I would go to sleep without crying. Pretty much I was at the lowest of low and I've finally dug myself out of a very large hole.

For so long I had totally lost who I was. I used to have a very intense and vibrant personality and somewhere along the way that all become diminished into numbness. I was lame, I was really selfish and shut out all my friends and family because I was hurt. But my friends stuck by me, for that I will be eternally greatful.

Well I finally got my head clear, I know who I am. There's stuff I'm still figuring out and finding out, life for me is trial and error, but all together I'm doing pretty a-okay.

So... who am I. I'm Kayte, actually Katherine but I don't really like being called that because it feels a bit too formal. I study fashion design but I lack motivation, my teachers refer to it more as a problem with doing anything that someone with authority asks me to do. I don't agree entirely but what ever, I do what I want haha. I will own my own label one day and you can call me a dream weaver but I am irrevocably sure of this. I will always say exactly what I am thinking and do exactly what I want, regardless of the consequences, this is my vice as much as it is my strength. I prefer to be alone alot of the time and do my own thing. I hate people sleeping in my bed unless I clearly invite them to my bed, which isn't often. I get scared at night if I don't know where my kitty is, I think it's strange how much I love this animal. I have a few nephews, me being a shit human I have my favourite. His name is Kayden, he was named after me.. Kayte.. Kayden. He's my closest brothers son and probably the most special human being I have ever met. He's the prettiest person ever and I will never think otherwise. I'm very picky with what I eat and I hate pretty much any kind of sauce. I say I'm allergic to mint leaves and coconut, really I just hate the taste. I like all my furniture and homewares white and everything I wear black or grey. I drink excessive amounts of vodka raspberry or vodka lemon lime and bitters. I'm almost always broke but I always have money to party. I have 3 older brothers and a handful of step sibblings. I'm a very strong mixture of my mum and my dad but me and my brother are like twins born 3 years apart, we think exactly alike. I will probably die alone.. I'm ok with this. I'm a very secretive person, I keep everything to myself and pretty much only tell people things if it's on a need to know basis. It takes a long time to get to know me and even longer to understand me. I have a wicked temper but it takes alot to even get me the tiniest bit mad. I brush my teeth like 3 times a day and constantly check them out in the mirror to see if their ok. I can't handle having any kind of dirt on me particularly on my hands or feet, I almost always wash my feet before i go to bed at night if I have been out. I'm very particular and fastidious about things being done my way, hence why i'm probably best to live alone. I'm very quiet when I'm at home but very exuberant when I'm out with my friends. I rarely stress about anything which makes life soooo much easier to handle. I like buying people gifts and doing cute things for people, this has been sorely wasted on my ex love for the past year, alas weathering my trust and faith in human dignity. I'm always very honest and straight forward with my motives, I'm no fan of hidden agenda's. I don't trust many people but this doesn't effect me enjoying their friendship or company, i just take time to crack. I have zero idea on how to speak to guys I like or how to flirt, I am completely socially retarded. So... instead... I just have fun and do what I want.

Life has been fun lately, it takes alot to say that because things were fun for ages I just wouldnt let myself enjoy it. I have some of the best friends in the world and I wouldn't change a thing about them. I am forever tied to two of my best friends and they mean the world to me.

Tammy Kim

Roxie Dunsmore

A few other things that are killing it at the moment
- Cute boys -
- Dates with roxie -
- Getting tattooed almost weekly by Tammy -

- Weekly hangs with the best people ever at HD-
- Soccer -
- Kissing cute boys -
- Free drink cards -
- HD photobooth photos -
- Skipping line at clubs -

- Hanging with the tafe kids -
- My Kitty Mishka -

- Sleeping in almost everyday -
- Counting down until Kylie, Jessy and Alison come stay -
- Planning the big move out of home -
- Getting excited about my future -
- Movie nights -
- Brown brothers pinot grigio -
- Kayden James Mulhane McDougall -
- Joshua Gary McDougall -
- Getting home after 7am on weekdays -
- eating bacon and eggs way too often -
- My butterfly tattoo for nan -
- Collecting tea cups -
- Being in love with Roxie -
- Tafe holidays -
- Cuddles with cutes -
- Ex free -

things are good
here's proof